I think the bored session for me is always how deep I involve in something. If I am involved and had a freedom to say something for its direction, I would not bored. Instead I would bored if I am not involved and just had to follow whatever policy decided for me. Having freedom of expression, of choice, of creativity --- would absolutely make me alive.
I never bored in my personal life, for instance. I have clear living purpose. I have a clear vision of what I should achieve in life. I have set of value from the Qur'an and the Hadist which clearly guide me on how to live a good life. I therefore never bored with my family life. I and my husband have good relationship, regularly discussing on the family matter and are agreed on most of the vision of our life.
If there are bored sessions, it mostly related to working experiences. I guess that because I was simply an employer and had no space for leading the company I work with. Unlike my family which I am the driver of it's vision and how to achieve the vision, in the workplace I am simply an employee no matter what my position was and how high I was paid. I had no room for expressing my true self, and often unable to participate in the creation of the company vision, mission and strategic direction. I felt I was not being myself in the company I worked with, I was no longer exist being absorbed by the company direction. I think that is the core of my working stress.
The company vision was normally represented by its director/ managers. A good director/ manager inspires and gives room for creativity. A good manager even can retain employee from move out with less offering than the competitor. At once time I had a very good manager which give room for my creativity and new ideas. He ensured me that I had that freedom, and even said that if I had problems with other directors/ bosses I can always seek his help. At the end I decided to stay even though I was offered a strategic position with double salary income in other company.
Beside this very good manager, I was also had previous experience with a very bad boss. As a fresh graduate I was in a situation for need a job badly, thus when a small company hire me I did not negotiate for the job description as well as the salary rate. I even did not mind to have a very demanding boss. He demanded for a total loyalty, with no room for my personal decision over work. When I was done with my job and thus requested to support other division which I agreed to, he was angry saying that I went out of office without his permission. He demanded me to consult him even for a small move. I was exhausted and felt very stupid. Even so it needs two year for me to say: enough and move forward.
Now it has been more than fourteen years I am working as an employee since 1998. I need a change, a radical change to be more free in determining my own life. I feel the need for a bigger self expression, self direction and want to fly as high as an eagle. It does not about lack of respect and appreciation anymore which make me bored. It is because I do not feel I have the room for directing right now. I do feel like I am just an ordinary staff who need to consult in advance for whatever move I want to make. I do not have the proud of setting up agenda and then proudly claim as my achievement. I think it is the best time for me to change direction. To be the boss for my own self!!!! And I should be able to take a risk. Because life is about our bravery in taking risk. Never afraid of failure because, you can always try again whenever you fall. Bismillah...I am ready!!!!
