Five summers
Different swallow flies
Another daisy blooms
Time has passed by
You also have changed
From someone I ever knew
Jakarta, May 31, 2009
Sunday, May 31, 2009
Friday, March 6, 2009
February Snow
The earth is white
The river is frozen
When a wind sends his icy blow
No threes waving their naked branches
It is a February Snow here
Cold, quiet, and anxious…
Only me who burned in a flame
Massachusetts, 13 February 2009
The river is frozen
When a wind sends his icy blow
No threes waving their naked branches
It is a February Snow here
Cold, quiet, and anxious…
Only me who burned in a flame
Massachusetts, 13 February 2009
Monday, February 16, 2009
longing for a serenely lake
Far in the meadow; wild yellow flowers cheerfully greet the wind, don't even bother when an irressistible distance birdy song is scratching my lonely heart. want to run back to the serenely lake, hidding from a scary grey reality.
Jakarta, 15 February 2007
Jakarta, 15 February 2007
Poligamy of the week
A'a Gym, the most popular kiai (Islamic cleric) in Indonesia was getting married again with a 37 year old widow. I was shocked by this news. How come this respectable soft spoken kiai can choose to be a poligamous him self. What the reason? His wife just looks fine; healthy, good looking enough, caring, loving, and they have 7 children already.
I really don't understand and soon join the long line of women who disappointed by his decision. As a popular preacher A'a Gym's speech is widely influencing, so I am afraid that his poligamy will inspire people to do so. I don't really care If some lay people take a second, third, or fouth wife, but I do really concern with A'a Gym's decision because he has the capacity to change the perception of Indonesian toward poligamy. I do scare if Indonesians are getting more and more tolerant toward poligamy in the future.
If poligamy becomes culturally accepted it is really scary for women's life. A friend told me of poligamous culture in Mali, Africa. He said that the practice of poligamy has been widely accepted in Mali, even men are socially supported to do so. Instead of desperately sad, a Mali woman would be proud if her husband is getting married again. Instead of defending, a mother will encourage her daughther's husband to get another wife. As a result of this poligamous culture, men in Mali enjoy a convenience life because their wifes are competing each other to give better services to the husband.
Years before (during Bu Tien Soeharto's era) poligamy considered as negative. But now I am afraid that Indonesians are going to be more tolerant to poligamy soon. There is indication of it; you can name some top government officers or members of paliament who have more than one wife.
A friend of mine (a guy) asked me why am I so angry with A'a Gym's decision, while poligamy considers as legal in Islam and his wife was also accepting the decision? He said it is natural for a man to love more than one woman, poligamy then considers as better choice than love affairs.
Yes, poligamy is legal in Islam but the Qur'an actually dicourage it. One important requirement for a man who want to have more than one wifes is that he should be able to do it justly, and Qur'an highlights that it is almost imposible to be a just husband. So it is better for a man to married only one wife.
Why Qur'an discourages poligamy but do not prohibit it? We should understand the sociological contect of that time. During Muhammad's life (around 600 AC) the Arabic people were frequently catch into tribal wars. So many men died in wars, and there were so many wifes and children lost their protectors. Then poligamy at that time was understandable, it were not safe for women and children life alone without having protectors. Yet still Islam limited their previous poligamous habit to marry only up to 4 women---one reference mentions that the 4 wifes limitation of poligamy was also practice in ancient judaism---. The discouragement was also seen in Muhammad's life, he told his daughter's husband, Ali, not to married another women when Fatimah still alive because he didn't want to see her disstress. It is clear now that Islam discourages the poligamy. It is not a sunnah, instead a makruh (you will be praised if you are not do it)**.
So shortly poligamy has nothing to do with Islam.
In my view poligamy is more about power relation than regious discourse. It is a matter of power relation between men and women within their households. There is only one formula for a power relation, anybody who has more power or has more resources s/he will able to pressure the other to follow her/his wills. Poligamy usually happen when the wife is powerless, especially if they are economically dependent to the husband. Imagine, can a woman say no when her husband want to get married again, while on the other side she has no job, has no money, but has so many children.
So you women, don't be fool; be strong and independent!
I really don't understand and soon join the long line of women who disappointed by his decision. As a popular preacher A'a Gym's speech is widely influencing, so I am afraid that his poligamy will inspire people to do so. I don't really care If some lay people take a second, third, or fouth wife, but I do really concern with A'a Gym's decision because he has the capacity to change the perception of Indonesian toward poligamy. I do scare if Indonesians are getting more and more tolerant toward poligamy in the future.
If poligamy becomes culturally accepted it is really scary for women's life. A friend told me of poligamous culture in Mali, Africa. He said that the practice of poligamy has been widely accepted in Mali, even men are socially supported to do so. Instead of desperately sad, a Mali woman would be proud if her husband is getting married again. Instead of defending, a mother will encourage her daughther's husband to get another wife. As a result of this poligamous culture, men in Mali enjoy a convenience life because their wifes are competing each other to give better services to the husband.
Years before (during Bu Tien Soeharto's era) poligamy considered as negative. But now I am afraid that Indonesians are going to be more tolerant to poligamy soon. There is indication of it; you can name some top government officers or members of paliament who have more than one wife.
A friend of mine (a guy) asked me why am I so angry with A'a Gym's decision, while poligamy considers as legal in Islam and his wife was also accepting the decision? He said it is natural for a man to love more than one woman, poligamy then considers as better choice than love affairs.
Yes, poligamy is legal in Islam but the Qur'an actually dicourage it. One important requirement for a man who want to have more than one wifes is that he should be able to do it justly, and Qur'an highlights that it is almost imposible to be a just husband. So it is better for a man to married only one wife.
Why Qur'an discourages poligamy but do not prohibit it? We should understand the sociological contect of that time. During Muhammad's life (around 600 AC) the Arabic people were frequently catch into tribal wars. So many men died in wars, and there were so many wifes and children lost their protectors. Then poligamy at that time was understandable, it were not safe for women and children life alone without having protectors. Yet still Islam limited their previous poligamous habit to marry only up to 4 women---one reference mentions that the 4 wifes limitation of poligamy was also practice in ancient judaism---. The discouragement was also seen in Muhammad's life, he told his daughter's husband, Ali, not to married another women when Fatimah still alive because he didn't want to see her disstress. It is clear now that Islam discourages the poligamy. It is not a sunnah, instead a makruh (you will be praised if you are not do it)**.
So shortly poligamy has nothing to do with Islam.
In my view poligamy is more about power relation than regious discourse. It is a matter of power relation between men and women within their households. There is only one formula for a power relation, anybody who has more power or has more resources s/he will able to pressure the other to follow her/his wills. Poligamy usually happen when the wife is powerless, especially if they are economically dependent to the husband. Imagine, can a woman say no when her husband want to get married again, while on the other side she has no job, has no money, but has so many children.
So you women, don't be fool; be strong and independent!
Saturday, December 2, 2006
December Political Sex Affair
Early this December a porn video distributed publicly from cellphone to cellphone, from email to email. It has been becoming juicy news to this day in Indonesia, not only because of its vulgarity but also because one of the two actors in the video is a paliament member from the biggest party in Indonesia. This proofs that morality of Indonesian, particularly its politicans are deeply decreasing. It is seems that morality is no more considered as the top list of their concern.
There is indication of this analysis. The politicians' comments are not focusing on YZ sexual missconduct but instead focusing on political motive behind the distribution of the video. A politician said: "I am sure a powerful guy is orchestrated this publication. If there is no backing I don't think that she will came out bravely to show her sexual affair. Today YZ is victimized, may be tommorow will be me or you who knows". It is so sad to hear the statement. By saying so this politician indirectly say that most of Indonesian politicians are indeed have lack of morality. Thus the problem is not laying on YZ's lack of morality but because his political competitor is trying to sabotage his political carrier.
If most of politicans in the parliaments indeed have misconduct habit like YZ then surely we will understand if our country is going nowhere. How can the politicians will lead us to develop a better society if they them selves have immoral behaviour?
It is true that in daily politics, sex, money, and power are interrelated each other. People deeply aware that sex may be used as a tool to reach money and power. The history even take notes that so many important historical events were taking in place by involving sex. There were long line evidences show that powerful men would be easily surrender under the feet of beautiful women. Cleopatra knew well how to use her power of beauty to influence the powerful Julius Cesar for the interest of her people in Egipt. We do also still remember how Bill Clinton's was pressured by impeachment trial when his sexual affair raised in public.
It is true that in highly political arena, women are frequently used to trap their competitor. Yet they will not been catch into the trap if they were clear, did not have misconduct behavior.
If we do democratic mechanism to select our representative, I will not really care with YZ or other politicians misconduct behavior. By discovering their corruption, infidelity, love affairs, and so on surely the public will not elect them in the next election. People will easily judge which representatives are good enough to voice their interest. Then, problem solved!
However sadly we do not has this direct election mechanism for the house of representatives. The so called semi proportional legislative has a very complicated rules to elect a representative in the House. In an election every political parties should propose a list of candidates from their party. Only a candidate who earn a BPP (a certain number got from all voters divided into the number of seat in the district), will directly elected. Other candidates who do not reach BPP have to follow the order in the list to take the rest of the seats. A BPP usually consists of hundred thousands votes, thus for the last election there were only less than 10 people gain the votes. This mechanism give the room for bad politicians to be elected eventhough they got very few votes.
By this mechanism so many nation's affairs would be depending on political parties stand. In the case of YZ, it is really depend on Golkar's decision. If the party finally decided not to dismiss YZ from his legislature position, peole has no mechanism to punish bad people from the house. Therefore it is very urgent for Indonesian to call for a legislative direct election!
There is indication of this analysis. The politicians' comments are not focusing on YZ sexual missconduct but instead focusing on political motive behind the distribution of the video. A politician said: "I am sure a powerful guy is orchestrated this publication. If there is no backing I don't think that she will came out bravely to show her sexual affair. Today YZ is victimized, may be tommorow will be me or you who knows". It is so sad to hear the statement. By saying so this politician indirectly say that most of Indonesian politicians are indeed have lack of morality. Thus the problem is not laying on YZ's lack of morality but because his political competitor is trying to sabotage his political carrier.
If most of politicans in the parliaments indeed have misconduct habit like YZ then surely we will understand if our country is going nowhere. How can the politicians will lead us to develop a better society if they them selves have immoral behaviour?
It is true that in daily politics, sex, money, and power are interrelated each other. People deeply aware that sex may be used as a tool to reach money and power. The history even take notes that so many important historical events were taking in place by involving sex. There were long line evidences show that powerful men would be easily surrender under the feet of beautiful women. Cleopatra knew well how to use her power of beauty to influence the powerful Julius Cesar for the interest of her people in Egipt. We do also still remember how Bill Clinton's was pressured by impeachment trial when his sexual affair raised in public.
It is true that in highly political arena, women are frequently used to trap their competitor. Yet they will not been catch into the trap if they were clear, did not have misconduct behavior.
If we do democratic mechanism to select our representative, I will not really care with YZ or other politicians misconduct behavior. By discovering their corruption, infidelity, love affairs, and so on surely the public will not elect them in the next election. People will easily judge which representatives are good enough to voice their interest. Then, problem solved!
However sadly we do not has this direct election mechanism for the house of representatives. The so called semi proportional legislative has a very complicated rules to elect a representative in the House. In an election every political parties should propose a list of candidates from their party. Only a candidate who earn a BPP (a certain number got from all voters divided into the number of seat in the district), will directly elected. Other candidates who do not reach BPP have to follow the order in the list to take the rest of the seats. A BPP usually consists of hundred thousands votes, thus for the last election there were only less than 10 people gain the votes. This mechanism give the room for bad politicians to be elected eventhough they got very few votes.
By this mechanism so many nation's affairs would be depending on political parties stand. In the case of YZ, it is really depend on Golkar's decision. If the party finally decided not to dismiss YZ from his legislature position, peole has no mechanism to punish bad people from the house. Therefore it is very urgent for Indonesian to call for a legislative direct election!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)